100 word challenge wk23

So me in my friend went to the park we saw a sign in it said no friends allowed because the said so I did my friend going back home he said on so we went in so we said on then to the said you can have friends all up  the said in the there is a Mostar in the wood in the you can see the Mostar in the wood me in my friend send what is that a Mostar on my from send you can see the Mostar in the wood we running to see the Mostar

 

10 thoughts on “100 word challenge wk23”

  1. Dear Roger,
    I like your story and how it flows. I also like how you ended on a cliffhanger. One thing that you can change is the grammatical errors. Some advice I can give you is to check for errors before submitting.
    Sincerely,
    Karsten

  2. Hey Roger, I love how your story flows, and the “Mostar” is a mysterious thing, what is it? Can you put that in the story? One thing that could be better is that grammar does not make sense at some times. Some advice I could give you is to check your story before you post it, so you can catch any errors. Cheers!

  3. Hi, Roger! This was a great piece although some of the events were confusing. You had an intresting plot but one thing you could work on is checking your grammar. I would also like to know what a Mostar is. Great job!

  4. Hi Roger,
    I thought that your 100-word challenge started really well, but shortly after it started to get pretty hard to understand. I think you were heading in the right direction but you just need some redirection. I also noticed that you had exactly 100 words. Great job! I think that with some redirection you could make it very good. If you ever have any time on your hands please check my 100-word challenges out: http://dogdays100.weebly.com/

  5. Hi Roger, I thought your story was very creative. One thing I thought you could work on was going over your story after it was written or read it out loud because there were multiple grammar errors. Overall I thought it was an amazing story.

  6. This is a pretty interesting story, but there is no punctuation, you should add punctuation n next time, but otherwise, it’s a good start.

  7. I believe you have the potential to create an amazing story, but I believe you need to make a few changes first. The sentence structure is off, but I can tell you how to fix it. If you are to make a sentence, you need to put periods to prevent the sentence from going on too long. You also need to add a subject to have an idea of what’s going on in the sentence. Otherwise, your spelling is great! I hope you can take this advice and put it in your work.
    – Jaren

  8. Hey, the idea of your story was really interesting but, you had a few spelling errors such as “mostar” ( which I’m assuming is monster). But overall it was really interesting

  9. The story is good, it needed a bit of work, the plot of the story was a little hard to follow. Good start though!

  10. Hey Roger, I really enjoyed reading your 100-word challenge and I thought it was super creative. I think you did a great job with it, but you did have a bit of things you could fix to make the story flow better. First off, when you said, “So me in my friend went to the park we saw a sign in it said no friends allowed.” This was a run-on sentence, a better way to write this would be, “So my friend and I went to the park and we saw a sign that said no friends allowed.” If you could improve things like that your story would be amazing. I really enjoyed reading your story.

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